Well, the tulips are back once again and they mean much more to me after the experiences of this last year. Our little Grant is doing great. We are one of the lucky ones. Our child was literally on the verge of death for weeks while the doctors were trying to treat him. It is only through the grace of God that he is here with us today. We feel very blessed. There is still a 50% chance that his heart problems will return sometime during his life. So, we cherish every moment that we have with him. He is such a blessing in our lives. Looking back, the 4 weeks in the hospital (and the rest of the very long pregnancy) was a very small price to pay for such a priceless gift. I am grateful that we are a forever family. No matter what happens to Grant here on this earth, we will be able to be with our son again - for eternity.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
One Year Ago...
Aren't these tulips gorgeous! They grow in our front yard and I just love them. I really missed them last year.
One year ago from yesterday I was checked into the hospital to be treated for my son's heart problems. I was 21 weeks pregnant and we had just discovered that our little boy had Supra Ventricular Tachycardia (very fast heart rate). As we pulled out of our driveway, heading to the University of Utah hospital, I looked at the tulips that had just bloomed and hoped that I would be back home soon and able to appreciate them.
I spent 4 weeks at the hospital. Those 4 weeks were full of more emotional ups and downs than I had previously experienced in my entire life. I was worried, sad, frustrated, scared, confused, angry, grateful, lonely, hopeful, annoyed, happy, and tired. I have never prayed so hard, nor studied the scriptures more intensely.
When I was finally able to come home, I hoped that the tulips would still be blooming. They weren't and I was sad. At the time, our little boy's future was still very uncertain and a cloud of worry hung over me a lot of the time. I wished that my tulips were there to symbolize hope and renewed life as they miraculously grew out from the thawing ground.
And when I look out the window or lay on the grass and see our tulips I think of our Savior, Jesus Christ. I think how He healed our little boy and allowed us to be his parents here on this earth. What an honor! I pray that I can prove myself worthy to be his mother. I have so much to learn. I hope that I can remain humble so that I can learn what my Heavenly Father wants to teach me.